- Anti Joke

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

I'm not here.

Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

wow garlic, yum

What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

Why did the black guy fail his math test? Because he did not study enough and as a result was no prepared to take a test on that material.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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