Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

You smell bad? Cool.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

what's funnier than hell? heaven

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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