Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

Banana(s)

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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