Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +37

so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +37

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops