sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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penis hehehehe

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Amputations.

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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