What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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cot!

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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