Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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¿melano?

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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cot!

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Poopsack Jones

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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