why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

What did you say? I don't know.

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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