A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Google Doodles

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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