A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Guess What? What? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

knock knock go away ok

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops