World peace

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops