Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

thumb_up thumb_down +65

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

69

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops