What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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German sausage is the wurst

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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