What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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