Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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