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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops