A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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