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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops