Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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