What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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