There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops