How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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Rock mattress.

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Did you know, that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

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A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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what is pink stinky? your butthole lol

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Hello

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops