A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops