A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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GONNA

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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Women's sports.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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