What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Microsoft Windows

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Penis.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Banana(s)

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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cms.......?????

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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