If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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