Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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The WNBA.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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BWAT

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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