So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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AVI IS A FAG

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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