What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Video Games

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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The Economy

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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