Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Jake Bowar

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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whats really hot the sun

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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