Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

cot!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Compton

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops