Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +13

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops