Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

A horse walks into a bar...n

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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