Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +6

sixty....eight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ballsack

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +4

maddie latino

thumb_up thumb_down +4

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops