Stephen Hawking can walk

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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I'm taken

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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What did you say? I don't know.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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