Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What is brown and sticky?

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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your life

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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