Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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9/11

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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You smell bad? Cool.

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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