How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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