A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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Will you marry me?

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Lil' Wayne

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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