Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

Lil' Wayne

Sarah Palin is President

How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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