Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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NEVER

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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antijokes

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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How much is an abortion? A life

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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Lil' Wayne

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Sarah Palin is President

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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