One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Women's rights.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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poop

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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