Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

Jokes are funny.

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

69

cms.......?????

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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