ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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This is not a good joke.

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A jew went to Germany.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Will you marry me?

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Small titties.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Lil' Wayne

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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