Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +12

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between a battery and a charger

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Left. That one direction...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops