My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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i have 2 penises

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Jokes are funny.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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