How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Period Blood

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Google Doodles

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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Rebecca Black

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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