What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Jokes are funny.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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Real jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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no u

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Johnson stops eating

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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