How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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cot!

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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4023145287

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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whos gay? you are

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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