why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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