Teen pregnancy

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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My mom just died....

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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What happended to the family in the hurricane? They died stupid

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Poopsack Jones

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Yeah, totally.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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