A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...