A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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Womens rights.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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8============D PEN1S

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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