A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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