The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what time is it rape time

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The Charlotte bobcats.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

World Peace

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops